What a great time of year. The World Series is underway. Halloween season is in full effect. So why don’t we celebrate? In order to properly celebrate, we have filled out our own baseball starting nine roster filled with the baddies of horror movies. To field our team, we will be finding a lead monster, slasher, or horror movie villain, that has the skills, abilities, and stats that are crucial in each position. Additionally, to make the playing field fair, these monsters will not have restrictions placed upon their powers. No full-moon required. The goal is to put together a deadly contender. So let’s jump in!
Outfield – The Wolf Man, Freddy Krueger, and the Xenomorph
For the outfield positions you need speed, agility, and strength when you come up to bat. The Wolf Man has got it all, a multi-tool player. On our team, we are putting the Wolf Man in center field, with the most free space to roam. Anything that is hit in his vicinity is going to get gobbled up.
While there have been many versions of the werewolf monster, with many excellent choices, we decided to go with the grizzled veteran. A monster that that the other old timers on the team can reminisce with, and for which the younger guys can look up to and be inspired by. The one and only from, the 1941 Universal The Wolf Man.
Right field is going to be played by the indomitable, slasher extraordinaire, Freddy Krueger. Racking up eight movies, Freddy is one of the more experienced players on this team. Reason for being the right fielder? Remember Freddy’s first sequence in A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) when Freddy is able to stretch his arms inhumanly across the alleyway? With all of Freddy’s powers, he would be an unstoppable force, being able to defend his sector of the outfield. Extra Bonus: right field is a perfect spot for smack-talking, which is exactly what this foul-mouthed, knife-handed slasher would be doing.
As for our left-fielder, we have selected a Xenomorph from Alien. Since the World Series is being partially played at Fenway Park in Boston, our team needed someone (rather something) that could deal with the Green Monster. The Xenomorph is not only fast and agile like the Wolf Man, but has proven to be more than a capable climber, able to take away those Mookie Betts home-runs.
Catcher – Jason Voorhees
Want a stocky, large-bodied, steady as a brick wall, powerful catcher? I give you Jason Voorhees. One of the most recognizable slashers of all time, Jason is a clear choice to be added to our team. Raking in ten movies, Mr. Voorhees has been around the block before. Not only would he be a capable catcher (since nearly none of his victims escape him), Jason is powerful and would be an excellent clean-up hitter. Bonus: He brings his own protective mask.
First Base – Frankenstein’s Monster
We need a tall, stocky, first-baseman, and I give you Frankenstein’s Monster. He is perfect for this position. While scouts may point out that the Monster has a clear lack of mobility that leaves him slow and stumbling, this is not a huge issue. At first base, our team won’t need Frankie’s Monster to move around too much, and what we really want him for is his hitting. As a batter, he is very powerful, and can surely send the ball over the wall, as long as he is able to connect on the pitch.
Second Base – Count Dracula
We wouldn’t want to break up the dream-team of Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster, and the Wolf Man, so we have Dracula manning the middle of the field. An agile and sneaky fast vampire is exactly what we want. Able to turn the double-play, and with the threat of stealing bases, Dracula will be invaluable on our team. In addition to his prowess, the king of vampires is a natural leader, and will be able to lead the team through any adversity.
Short-Stop – IT
Joining Count Dracula in the middle of the field, IT will be a force to be reckoned with. IT’s ability to shape-shift will be invaluable. Anything that is hit on the ground or in the air can be nabbed by IT’s many forms. A wildcard as a batter, IT will have to show cunning and knowledge of the game to be able to go up against pitchers like LA’s Clayton Kershaw. Bonus: Can you imagine trying to hit against this team and your worst fear is staring back at you from short-stop?
Third Base – Michael Myers
In today’s MLB, you need to have a batting line-up that is stacked with home-run hitters in order to have a chance. That is why we are adding additional power with Michael Myers, another veteran with 10 movies under his belt. Possessing incredible strength, an unrelenting spirit, and always refusing to go down, Michael is the heart of this team. If the team needs someone to lead them out of a hole, Michael is the one to do it.
Starting Pitcher – Count Orlock
We are going to double-down on the vampires on the team. Count Orlock from the 1922 Nosferatu. Count Orlock has a special ability that makes him an invaluable pitcher. All he has to do is stare down the batter with his icy glare, and the batter will find himself paralyzed. While the other team may claim this is cheating, all I am saying is that our pitcher is using his God…uh…Devil-given gifts.
So what do you think of our starting nine? Who would you like to see on this monstrous squad? Comment below!